Sunday, September 10, 2006

God and my meatloaf sandwich

It happened about 40 years ago while I was attending St. Mary's Catholic elementary school, but I remember like it was yesterday.
As soon as Sister Francis saw me unwrapping my big, thick meatloaf sandwich, she grabbed it out of my hands and quickly tossed it into the garbage can.
"Why did you do that!" I cried out.
Sister Francis sternly replied, "Do you want to lose your immortal soul? Is a sandwich worth your immortal soul? You know you can't eat meat on Friday!"
Egads. Friday. Fish day.
My heart sunk as I gazed longingly at the trash can; part of my meatloaf sandwich was sticking up over the edge--trying to lure me straight into hell.
Sister Francis had no idea how special a meatloaf sandwich was at our house.
My brown bag lunch usually consisted of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an apple, day after day after day.
Meatloaf sandwiches with lettuce, mayonnaise, and ketchup only came around once in a blue moon.
I sat there, still looking at the trash can, wondering if I could sneak over there and salvage my lunch.
I mean, God is love, right?
Someone who loves me wouldn't want me to burn forever just because of a sandwich, right?
Surely God wouldn't want a poor little girl to go without her lunch.
I was just about to get up and creep over to the trash can when Sister Francis came back to my desk.
She handed me an extra carton of milk and said, "Take this time to pray and offer up your sandwich to God."
SIGH. God stole my lunch.
Years later, sitting in a philosophy/religion class, I found out that the Catholic church eventually did away with the general "no meat on Friday" rule, because it was kind of outdated.
I was told that the only reason the early Christians did not eat meat on Friday was because they lived in a fishing community, and the "no meat on Friday" rule was originally established to help the economy.
Since our economy doesn't center around fishermen anymore (hasn't for years and years), it was determined that there was no longer a valid reason for the rule.
WHAT?
You mean I lost my meatloaf sandwich that day, way back then, because no one updated an old rule?
You mean I could have eaten it without being condemned to a fiery furnace for all of eternity.
That does it.
I want my meatloaf sandwich back.
I don't care if it's 40 years old, I want it back.

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